Exploring possible solutions
Once you’ve gathered as much information as you can, you need to start by celebrating and protecting what’s working, then take each ‘not working’ and create an action plan to address each one. Here are four possible solutions to Maria’s mom’s concerns about Maria using the Internet to find a boyfriend.
Keep going as before with no changes
For now, Maria is happy looking at Internet dating sites, so this approach would be OK for her, except it causes issues with her mom.
However, this approach does not address the safety issues that Maria’s mom and her support worker raised and could leave Maria vulnerable. Doing nothing is also likely to strain relationships between everyone involved.
Maria stops looking online and works with her mom to find a partner
Although this may reassure Mom, it won’t work for Maria. She enjoys the freedom of finding a partner herself and likes to use the Internet.
Maria’s mom and Harry don’t want to upset Maria which this approach certainly would.
Maria stops looking for a boyfriend
This approach would not work from anyone’s point of view, even Mom as she does not want to stop Maria from finding happiness.
For Maria this is totally unacceptable and takes away her rights and sense of citizenship. Harry’s role would turn from that of supporter, to that of keeper, which is also unacceptable.
Maria only uses sites that have their own support in place to act as a safeguard.
It may be that no action will reassure Mom 100%, but making sure that Maria only used sites with a strict safety procedure will help to address the safety issues she has raised.
This means that Maria can continue her search for a partner in full control with the extra benefit of some security/confidence in the agency.
